There are agreed upon evil things in the world—famine, President Bush, war, disease, etc. Then there are the not-so-obvious, but just as troubling, evil things in the world. Here are a few….
1. Computer Solitaire
This is the opiate of office workers. People who play computer solitaire are lame. It’s like staring at a wall. It means you have nothing to do and you need to take a look at where your life has ended up.
2. Feeding Pigeons
This is like solitaire but worse because it makes a mess and attracts dirty seagulls that shit all over. If you engage in this behavior, it means you are crazy and probably don’t have friends, not that you care about animals.
3. Passwords
There are too many passwords and user names required in this new tech society. And now the computer wants more than six characters, a number, a capital letter, a symbol, etc. At my job, we have to change our password every six months! I have taken to tattooing my many passwords on my arms and chest.
4. slow walkers
Is it just me or is there a huge problem with people, especially teenagers and crazy homeless people, deliberately going really slow when they cross the street in front of cars? It’s like they finally have some power over someone else and they are going to use it by making you wait while everyone watches them do their slow walk to the next curb.
5. Potholes
What’s the deal with the craters in the ground in L.A. lately? Especially on the right hand side of the road. And more noticeable in the poorer areas of town. I’m waiting for these holes to trap cars and small children, not just ruin wheel alignment and jar drivers. Is it too much to get the city to fix these things? Poor some gravel in there!
6. Pledge Drives
A couple of times a year NPR does a two week pledge drive and the radio voices have to ask for money. Annoying and Evil!
7. Instant Messaging
This is not as big of a problem in recent years. In the past, I would be on my computer surfing inappropriate websites and some other computer user name would pop on my screen and type to me. Don’t bother me friend-o! I’m busy!
8. Online petitions
Every once in a while a do-gooder with time on his hands sends me an email that is a petition to urge congress or some other entity to take action. Impeach President Bush! Please sign your name and email to everyone you know. Can you imagine a White House Aide bursting into a presidential briefing saying, “Sir, we have a situation! There is an online petition to impeach you. It must be stopped before it brings the whole regime down.”
9. Setting clocks wrong on purpose to be on time
I have a roommate that does this. Ironically, she is still late everywhere and I end up being even earlier to places than I should be. How does this work? Does the person forget that they are lying to themselves? No, they adjust and keep doing the same thing and impacting everyone else. I mean, should I set my scale back 10 pounds to make it seem like I am skinnier? Or set my speedometer ahead 20 miles per hour so that I won’t speed?
10. Driving to Dodger Stadium
It takes 2 hours to drive to the ballpark to watch a game. Then you have to pay like 20 bucks to then walk a few miles to the game. Meanwhile, the Dodgers are behind by seven runs in the third inning and another night is wasted. Very Evil!
1. Computer Solitaire
This is the opiate of office workers. People who play computer solitaire are lame. It’s like staring at a wall. It means you have nothing to do and you need to take a look at where your life has ended up.
2. Feeding Pigeons
This is like solitaire but worse because it makes a mess and attracts dirty seagulls that shit all over. If you engage in this behavior, it means you are crazy and probably don’t have friends, not that you care about animals.
3. Passwords
There are too many passwords and user names required in this new tech society. And now the computer wants more than six characters, a number, a capital letter, a symbol, etc. At my job, we have to change our password every six months! I have taken to tattooing my many passwords on my arms and chest.
4. slow walkers
Is it just me or is there a huge problem with people, especially teenagers and crazy homeless people, deliberately going really slow when they cross the street in front of cars? It’s like they finally have some power over someone else and they are going to use it by making you wait while everyone watches them do their slow walk to the next curb.
5. Potholes
What’s the deal with the craters in the ground in L.A. lately? Especially on the right hand side of the road. And more noticeable in the poorer areas of town. I’m waiting for these holes to trap cars and small children, not just ruin wheel alignment and jar drivers. Is it too much to get the city to fix these things? Poor some gravel in there!
6. Pledge Drives
A couple of times a year NPR does a two week pledge drive and the radio voices have to ask for money. Annoying and Evil!
7. Instant Messaging
This is not as big of a problem in recent years. In the past, I would be on my computer surfing inappropriate websites and some other computer user name would pop on my screen and type to me. Don’t bother me friend-o! I’m busy!
8. Online petitions
Every once in a while a do-gooder with time on his hands sends me an email that is a petition to urge congress or some other entity to take action. Impeach President Bush! Please sign your name and email to everyone you know. Can you imagine a White House Aide bursting into a presidential briefing saying, “Sir, we have a situation! There is an online petition to impeach you. It must be stopped before it brings the whole regime down.”
9. Setting clocks wrong on purpose to be on time
I have a roommate that does this. Ironically, she is still late everywhere and I end up being even earlier to places than I should be. How does this work? Does the person forget that they are lying to themselves? No, they adjust and keep doing the same thing and impacting everyone else. I mean, should I set my scale back 10 pounds to make it seem like I am skinnier? Or set my speedometer ahead 20 miles per hour so that I won’t speed?
10. Driving to Dodger Stadium
It takes 2 hours to drive to the ballpark to watch a game. Then you have to pay like 20 bucks to then walk a few miles to the game. Meanwhile, the Dodgers are behind by seven runs in the third inning and another night is wasted. Very Evil!
1 comment:
don't forget to add blogging to your follow up list.
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